Psychologist visit

Had a long talk yesterday with the psychologist. Much of the time he was listening as I raved on and on. 

Said how I couldn't get my head around how my daughter could even contemplate the idea to ditch her relationship with her father for the rest of her life, simply because she doesn't get on with David. How she could say something so ridiculous as "You're as dead to me as mum is". How she could've been so angry at David in the first place, and her bizarre reactions when things didn't go her way. Like at one point in the kitchen argument she said that she wished he was dead. WTF? Where the hell was all this shit coming from? And the lies.......

In hindsight the atmosphere in the house was extremely tense during those times. Just the behaviour of the cats alone is enough to illustrate the point. In short they're almost different cats; relaxed and at home. Before there was this tension boiling underneath the surface and the cats could feel it. So the first thing to come out of yesterday's meeting was to recognise just how intense those months were leading up to my daughter moving out.

The reason for her behaving as she did is a mystery, but the best estimate is that it was about control. Or rather her losing control of the situation at home. Thing is she was on a very good wicket here. With it being low rent and her job paying very well, my calculation is that she'd easily have had about $400-500 a week just to spend on what she liked. She also had whatever was going on with her boyfriend and her with the drugs, sessions in her room, dealers and customers turning up. All she had to do was lie to me and it was all fine....... until David came along......

David's been nursing for 30 years. Part of that job includes I guess reading body language of patients. Anyway, when he moved in he saw straight away what was going on; daughter lying to Dad and pretty much running the place according to her lifestyle. So David eventually, patiently, put a stop to it. And there it was. 

Suddenly there was someone in the house who could see straight through all her lies. Who for his own work's sake and sense of morality disagreed with the place being used to sell drugs from. Suddenly her boyfriend's little business was having problems, and she wouldn't be able to do her little deals either. This was the crux of what the whole argument with her was about. But all she wants to rave on about is that there was name calling in the arguments. Suddenly her comfortable little life that she'd made for herself here was no more..... and no matter how she kicked up a stink about it it wasn't coming back. She was no longer in control here. Course she blamed David for it all.

As for my depression and anxiety, the psychologist and I are in agreement that given how stressful it was during those months with my daughter, and the spectacular way in which she left, it's quite likely that memories from the past would be stirred up over it. Times where she left before. Past arguments. Past pain. With all that's involved, it's certainly understandable to have a few bad days in the lead up to my wife's anniversary of passing in May.