One step at a time

Feeling so much better today. Went to bed early after a big meal, slept all up for about 12 hours. Had no indigestion, even though I went to bed on a full stomach (frozen chicken things with mashed potatoes and baby peas). Daughter had some of the meal I made too, I always seem to make too much. No nausea this morning. No aches and pains. No headache. Started wondering about marijuana and it's use amongst HIV+ people. There certainly seems to be some benefits there.

Can't believe daughter is nearly 21. Didn't know whether to get a card for her, or one for myself saying "I made it!" Certainly hasn't been easy, but I'd have to say it hasn't for either of us. I mean how many teenagers have to deal with their mother dying and their father becoming HIV+? It does show a strength of character that she's come through all of that and become a responsible adult. We've been getting on very well since she moved back in. Who'd have ever thought that two years ago when she had me in court? 

Not able to give her anything much on the day, am broke but she knows that. Got a card with hardly any writing in it so I can write my own stuff. Those silly written things in cards are so trite. Much better to say something personal and meaningful. I like this front of the card, that is exactly her.

Was thinking of the beach today, but I dunno. Maybe I've just sort of grown out of it. It all seems such a boring exercise; pack sunscreen and towel into bag, go lie on beach, swim, lie on beach more, swim more, feel bloody hot, have shower, go home. Meh. I think that's why I stopped going a while back as it was just so monotonous. And all these people trying to look cool, the perfect tan with the perfect body. There's the nudist beach down the road, but its such a long walk to get there from the bus stop, across another beach first and then down a long path through the trees. They're not really into the cool thing, they just let it all hang out.

Maybe I should try doing things that are less of a stretch. I used to like reading Sci-Fi a lot. And watching DVD's. Maybe I could rent a couple of movies up the road this afternoon. Haven't for ages. I'm starting to wonder if the telly still works as I haven't even had the thing on for days now.

Whatever I decide to do, am not going to feel guilty if I don't do very much at all. Keep reminding myself I have to do things at my own pace, and whatever speed that is, that is fast enough. People here can have this thinking that you have to get out and enjoy the sunshine and all. All out doorsy and sporty. Me I've never liked playing sport. Was terrible at it. A dip at the beach was about as out doorsy as I got.