Contrast; before meds and after starting

There is the thinking that once your infected with HIV then likely you won't even know it. And this is true for many, some go for 10 years or more with little or no symptoms at all. They appear healthy and hardly get sick with anything. Whether it's something to do with the strain of HIV I got, or simply my genetic make-up, this was not true for me.

When I got infected (nearly 2 years ago now) I got sick, really sick. This is when the viral load is very high. Had quite a few days off work for a one month period, and lost 5 kilos (11 pounds). It was like having a really bad flu. And during the last 2 years, even when the viral load has been low, have continually go sick with sore throats, runs, etc etc. Often feeling like I had the flu. Exhausted all the time. Yet my blood results would be fine. 

These days the thinking is to start meds no later than your CD4 count falling to 350 or less. My last result just before starting the pills was at 610. The only reason I even qualified to go on medication was because my viral load was over 10,000 (at 25,000). I guess they have that criteria as these are bloody expensive little pills and they don't want to be handing them out to just anyone. So in all respects there would have been nothing wrong as far as the medical profession was concerned with me remaining off the pills as my immune system was handling the HIV very well itself.

But this was at the expense of everything else, at least in my case. I would be constantly getting red irritated gums and mouth ulcers, some of those ulcers very painful lasting 2 weeks or more. I know this is a sign of a failing immune system as my wife had the some thing in the months leading to her death. Even at work a small paper cut would get infected and take ages to heal. For me, medication wasn't just something that would make me feel like I was doing something about the HIV, it was something that it turned out would make a huge difference to my everyday health.

Both physically and mentally too I suppose. Being exhausted for two years isn't exactly encouraging!

Of course I still get tired, I have a very demanding job. But I'd forgotten what it was like to be able to wake up in the morning and get out of bed without feeling like I needed another 3 or 4 hours of sleep. I can eat now without worrying about avoiding painful areas in my mouth. I have much more energy at work to get through the day, and no longer find myself almost catatonic with fatigue at the end of it. 

When I was diagnosed with the HIV I really didn't give a fuck. I described it to someone recently as the icing on the shit cake. Her reply was that going onto meds gave you the space and ability to deal with the shit cake. Quite the analogy I thought :)