Those results were a huge occurrence. It's only been a few days but there have been a few thoughts come to the fore.
Firstly, quite stunned. I never expected the results to be that good. Within a month three pills taken in the morning have knocked the HIV on its ass. It seems too simple just yet, too good to be true.
Slightly guilty. If this was so simple for me, why are others in the world dieing from this? Just three pills will mean that I live. Those who can't get them will die. Why me? I'm no fuckin saint. A chance of birth decides my fate.
Another chance? I've had a few darlings. Yet another one?
So what is this HIV now? It's certainly not a death threat. It's a disease that is manageable like many others. What does that mean now for my life?
I guess I can think of the future...
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Of course you can think of the future! Grab it with both hands while you have it and enjoy it! Don't feel guilty. Things are as they are - you have no control over who gets what or why. Be grateful and share the wonderful person you are with as many people as possible. Many folks could learn a thing or two about how to treat others by watching and knowing you. Share yourself and the things you have learned through the extraordinary life you have lived and are living. You are stronger and wiser than you think!
ReplyDeleteHugs always
C
You're so kind C, thank for the thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI know, I know.... yes I shouldn't feel guilty and such. Just putting down what I'm feeling and thinking as I go through this. I said earlier it's not everyday someone starts HIV meds. Certainly rather a unique experience in itself.
xx
It is indeed. I meant no disrespect. I am glad you are able to express yourself. I just wanted to be encouraging.
ReplyDeleteHugs
C