Stuck in a moment - David's bashing

Was talking to him yesterday about it. How it keeps going over and over in my head. Those few seconds lasered into my memory forever. Him being trapped in the corner copping it, falling against the wall, sliding onto the ground and being stomped on. Him getting up and the look on his face; surprise, hurt, anger all in one. I just can't get my head around the violence.

From my own family.

In our own home.

Right there in front of me. Like I didn't matter.

Am seeing the psychologist later today. The appt was already scheduled before this.

I'm not contacting my nephew anymore as it's not appropriate with me being a witness to his court case. I am however giving updates to my brother in New Zealand via his email address, which is his work email, which he doesn't read because he doesn't do the internet, which other people read for him. Needless to say whoever reads these emails is going to be rather shocked. Especially the last one. Here's some of it, note that I've um.... exaggerated the chance of the nephew getting HIV, but fuck him. They're both probably as ignorant as fuck about it so let them sweat it out for three months :)

In the doctors I asked what the chances were that David's HIV was passed on to **** via his knuckles. The chances are less than if his HIV viral load wasn't undetectable, but there's still a chance. I would advise you to advise **** to get an HIV test in three months. It has to be three months as that's how long it takes for HIV antibodies to become detectable. I would also suggest **** not to have sex without a condom as if he does have HIV the early stages are the most infectious. Also in Australian law it's illegal to have sex with someone without telling them you have (or may have) HIV. 

BTW, it's clear now how the arguments started; with you. You tried to get a head job off David. He was disgusted. Few gays do beats, and that's what you appear to think all gays are like. It's obvious you've had experience after talking about how guys give better head jobs than girls. Why the fuck do people think that just because it's a gay couple then it must be a free for all? FFS, you tried to have sex with my partner behind my back, your own brother. It's no different than trying to do it with my late wife ****. You have zero morality and zero respect for me. I'm disgusted and feel physically sick thinking about it. I'll never forgive you for it. You've never changed, you're still the bully you were when we were growing up and still think I'm a piece of shit not worthy of respect. I was a fool to think anything had changed. 

Peter.