The Empire Strikes Back!

Well just look at what the tide bought in for me this afternoon when I checked the mailbox:


Um, click to enlarge.

Well fuck! If I'd have been severely depressed as during last year, and at the worst of times then, I can't imagine myself having survived this. The smaller type plastic bag (the one that kills quickly instead of minutes of suffocation) would I'm sure 100% been implemented. It is the chance of time, the change of my mental state via the help offered by society, the hand from the deck of cards, that saw my hand of cards let me deal with this at a time when I was just able.

I've had my doubts darlings. This last week hasn't been easy at all. As in the last post, I've had to face choices; from either those parts of me that rely on what reserves are now there resilient enough to pick themselves out of the rubble of my head, or were learned enough to have partaken in the counselling and advice that stopped me from suicide in months past.

In all, they are something happening without me, a survival mechanism that has kicked in from evolution past? It appears Homo Sapiens have a penchant for survival. I've not consciously addressed my head in this, or sought support there. It has only been some sort of survival instinct. I'm glad for that. Whilst the higher functions in my head have failed, my instinct keeps me alive.....

I dunno, but I got through it. To be honest I don't know how. But I did. Well for now anyway; this may be the beginning of a saga to end all saga's!