I want to be treated normally

Public holiday today, long weekend, Monday.


Not a very good night last night, up with the runs again. Ugh, there seems to be a lot of it going around in Sydney. Neighbour has it, daughter had it for a week. I did too thought it was gone. Then 2 hours awake going to the toilet, ack.


Will be interested to find out the next blood results tomorrow. Taken couple of weeks ago, that will make it about two and a half months on medication. After the initial dramatic drop in the viral load I'm feeling quite confident of a further improvement. My health certainly has been so. It's like everything that was making me aware of having HIV has gone; well perhaps not the runs, but then again it is going around!


There's another Planet Positive this month, some special one to co-ordinate with something or other. Think I'll give this one a miss too. Finding now I'm just not relating to the whole thing. I mean it's wonderful the support is there, but for me right now it's like attending support things like that is more a reminder of the HIV than a help. Sort of makes me feel not normal, when of late being much healthier I do feel very "normal" (if there is such a thing).


Having it now is mostly about the social and psychological stigma involved with that, rather than  a health issue of impending doom. It's manageable, not a death sentence. Perhaps that's the line I'm crossing now in my head. I don't want to be treated differently simply because I have HIV, but just like everyone else. Why shouldn't I be?


Society has a long way to go with this. For it to simply accept that someone has this without discrimination or stigmatisation, is at the moment a far off dream. 


It has been said from support people, that some of us after diagnosis find help and connect with that available to us, but then go on to find our own way. Others may find they need to continue with the support and services available. Presently I think I'm now one finding my own way. In a sense that's quite empowering.