Doctor and psychologist appts

Had the two appts yesterday.

First was the doctor. I told him how sick I'd been with the new pills, and he seemed a little surprised. But as the last few days have now been showing a definite improvement on the nausea then there wasn't much thunder I could raise about it. Got blood taken and I go back Monday for those results. That's the last day of the one month prescription I got from the pharmacy so if he does decide to leave me on these pills I'll have to go straight there after seeing him. I'm hoping it will be fine as I don't want to go through having to get used to another lot of HIV pills. These last 3 weeks have been particularly unpleasant as far as pills go.

We also discussed the happy pills (Efexor) and that I wanted to come down on them some. I suggested down to about half my current dose (300mg/day). As I've been on that dose since 2009, then coming down won't be easy. Will have to be done slowly, 75mg at a time. So he gave me a whole bunch of 75mg ones that I can take with the 150mg ones to make a daily dose of 225mg. I'll try that for a month and see how I go. If the worst comes to the worst I can always go back up on them. 

After that I saw the psychologist later in the day. He asked me what was the reason why I wanted to come down on them. Dunno exactly, but it just feels like it's time to do something about it. The HIV pills I'd forgotten how strong they were, and I don't want to be knocked out like a dry retching zombie in the mornings. I'm also sick of how they affect my sex life. Now that David's around that's become much more important than before and I don't want to have to take more pills because of the pills I'm already taking. 

Psychologist also questioned the dose as being high so he looked it up on his PC; turns out the maximum dose is only 375mg/day and for someone suffering severe depression who's admitted into hospital. So that's how much I've been on since 2009; one step away from that. I did need it though, ended up on that high dose as that was the only one that stopped the crying episodes and panic attacks. I think now though I want to reduce that substantially. Will be aiming for at least down to 150mg/day. 

He was concerned though about what effect that may have on my state of mind. I just said I was doing it to sort of see if it could be done, but if things went bananas I'd always be able to go back up. I agreed as well to see him every 2 weeks instead of every month during this time. 

We also had rather a long discussion about Simon. 

I explained to him what had been going on, and the very strange text he sent to Tim, calling David a "control freak". That really surprised me you know. Simon would have been the last person I'd have thought to behave in such a way as he's always been the perfect gentleman. In the end it's simply that there's no point in trying to figure out why he said it, but to just leave it and have some time apart from him.

David is incredibly pissed off about it. Don't blame him. I wanted us to all stay friends but it's fuckin too late for that now; he's fucked it right up. David doesn't ever want to see him again after that bullshit, and I'm not going to jeopardise what David and I have if Simon's going to carry on like a child. So I've decided not to have contact with him for a while at least.