HIV pride? Coming out about HIV

I've thought about this in the past at times. The way that I'm much more at ease these days when it's appropriate to disclose my HIV status to someone. Sometimes it's at the same time as telling them I'm gay. It got me wondering about why I felt so OK about it, even something akin to pride at my status?

That may sound extremely strange to someone who's negative. How the the hell could anyone feel pride about being HIV+? Certainly it's something that I've found it hard to get my head around. However it's more about the stigma surrounding HIV than the HIV itself if I feel ashamed of it. In fact HIV is simply a disease, and once that stigma is removed from it it's actually much easier to understand feelings of pride about it.

Yes it's a life threatening disease. Yes perhaps it could have been avoided if my mental health at the time was much more accomplished. But life happens doesn't it. Things go wrong sometimes. It's not all a bowl of cherries, and why shouldn't I be proud of the life I've lived, warts and all? This explains it beautifully:

“Being Gay Is Something Positive.” Because the word “positive” also implies HIV, this image can be read many different ways. Ultimately it serves to demonstrate that HIV is nothing to be ashamed of, that it’s a part of our every day lives, and that HIV-positive gay men can live out and proud about their HIV, just as they do with their sexuality. 

The notion of ascribing pride to someone who is living with HIV can often ruffle some feathers. Maybe there isn’t a perfect word to describe someone who isn’t ashamed of their disease. Could you call them confident, empowered, or triumphant? It’s perfectly reasonable for someone to be proud of the life they have lived and the struggles they have overcome. So there’s no reason someone shouldn’t take pride in themselves and affirmatively declare their HIV status. 

Coming out about HIV is one of the best tools we have to fight stigma. If stigma is reduced more people will get tested, access care, and the quality of life for all gay men will improve. Our community will be a better place if stigma is significantly reduced. more

What is there to be gained by regret and shame? I look now at HIV as being part of who I am. We're all the product to a certain extent of what we've gone through in life. Often there's no place to lay blame when shit happens, it's simply life happening and it's no one's fault. No one is right or wrong.

Update:

This is from Jade's blog, after he told some friends of his status. 

I felt so much better. I do not feel shame or guilt any more. I do not feel damaged. My friends assured me that they would always be there for me and my condition does not change who I am, which I agree. I am still the same person. Actually I am a better person now. I know how precious life is. I know how important it is to live my life. I know how grateful it is to have such great friends around me. I am happy. I feel loved. more