A Quiet Easter

Been a very quiet Easter. Just at home and a daily wander to the local pub for a few beers and a chat with whoever. Sleeping around 10 hours a night. Throat and sore mouth getting better. It's been a very stressful 2 weeks prior.

Have decided for sure the memory loss on the night the cops beat me up was caused by emotional trauma. On the fact sheet they write that I became "extremely emotional" when asked about my family. I have no doubt that in such a predicament, questions such as this triggered said emotional episode.

I suppose it's something I just have to live with for now at least. A bit scary to have it happen though, as it shows the intensity of the emotional pain that's still there. All I've really done is be able to live apart from that pain of late, but the pain hasn't gone at all. A trigger can shove me into it it seems. And there I am again, back in that nightmare place I was months ago. Thankfully today there are other ways to escape it available that weren't there a year ago.

In a way I'm really glad of the memory loss as it seems like my mind is protecting itself/me from what I went through then emotionally. It must have been bloody bad to do that. I don't want to remember it to be honest.