"You're as dead to me as mum" - daughter

The house phone rang this morning, unusual as most of my calls go to my mobile. It was my daughter responding to an email that I sent to her last night. I worded it in such a way that would likely get some kind of reaction out of her. No swearing, just button pushing. Two can play at that game you know.

Why did I do this? I was angry. I only found out a couple of days ago that she (or one of her female friends that she'd put up to it) rang David's work and talked to his boss there, the Director of Nursing, shortly after the first argument with David. She (or her friend) declared to his boss that David was on drugs and had split up her and my relationship. Interestingly, David had already warned the boss that she could be getting such a phonecall from my daughter after that argument. His boss went and saw him and told him he was right, and described the person's voice on the phone; it sounded exactly like my daughter's friend. So David's boss asks her "Are you willing to put that in writing?" which of course they weren't, and so that was the end of it.

Needless to say I was fuming. So I sent my daughter a short email: "I'm disgusted that you rang David's work to try and get him fired (btw a pointless exercise). Your father Peter." My estimation was that leaving it at "you" and not "your or one of your friends" would send her into a fit of rage. Whether she actually contacted me about it I doubted, perhaps a short email reply was the most I expected. However, it seems the button I pushed drove her to actually ringing me this morning.

I couldn't get a word in, apart from the odd short sentence. She declared that she wasn't going to pay the money owed me for the utilities because she was (and I quote) "over it". Then she went into a rave about how I was keeping on emailing her like it was harassment or something (sent her only two emails before last nights little effort - one PSA about the fleas and for her to wash all her stuff, and the other about the bills owing). Then she raved that I was accusing her of another lie from David and not believing her, and that I should be behaving like a father and believing her not David (WTF?). I couldn't get a word in as she was just raving. I did however manage to get out that the core issue was the drugs. She says "What drugs?" (WTF?). I say "The drugs going through the house". She changed the subject back to me not believing her.

Of course she completely denied ringing David's work. I said "Well somebody did" and was about to describe her friends voice. She cuts me off and says "Well it wasn't me". Fuck, how dumb does she think I am? She also says how she reckons she's being the adult....WTF? (Adults pay there bills for a start).

And then darlings her raves built up to some kind of rave crescendo...  In hindsight I'd say she's been raving it to herself for a while as it sounded it bit rehearsed. And she comes out with the big hang up line:

"You're as dead to me as mum is, goodbye" 

And that was it. Apparently not believing her lies means she doesn't want me as he father anymore for the rest of her life (wow, I must have really pushed her buttons). Well fuckin so be it. I've done everything I can for her over 23 years. She's fuckin on her own now. She'd rather lie to me and end our father/daughter relationship than simply admit to what she's doing.

From here I guess I'll send a short email to her uncle out of Sydney. Tell him a little of the latest and perhaps he can talk some sense into her. Other than that if she's going to excommunicate her own father over her lies and drugs, well so be it. 

I'm over it. 

I'm taking the advice of my psychologist (who BTW I see again Monday) and concentrating on my relationship with David now.