"Fade to Black" - Voluntery euthanasia movie in the making

Peter Short

Those readers of here for the last year may remember Peter Short, who died of cancer. On the way to death he used his skills as a communicator and come activist, to press his case for voluntary death with dignity; that is dying at the time of your choice and not having to go through the indignity of illness that robs you of it.

I very much agree with him. Those facing their death, or a loved one's death, often do. 

My late wife spent nine months in hospital as she was dying. Got up to 60 pills a day in there as they tried to keep her alive, all the while just increasing her suffering. She  went through the indignity at 49 of losing her hair, the control of her bowels, alongside her dignity. Endured pain beyond imagination that couldn't be contained by drugs....

At one time I visited she was in the on-suite toilet, on a commode chair above it, nurses around the room and shower/toilet where she was, and as I looked at her after just arriving she did this big bowel movement in front of all because they'd given her tablets to make her go. I could see how upset she was..... 

Another time I went to visit and she related the story earlier of how she'd been put in front of the shower/toiler mirror and suddenly saw how much hair she'd lost. She was crying as she told me. I'd been combing it daily for her on my visits but hadn't said anything.

She couldn't stand up on her own as time past. Her weight fell like a rocket and she ended up not much more than just a frame with skin. She had to wear adult nappies. 

She endured pain beyond what I can imagine. Early on in the nine month stay she developed terrible ulcers on her lower legs and ankles which needed daily bandaging with special skin things so the bandaged wouldn't stick and tear off her skin being taken off. One time I came in whilst her bandages were being taken off the next day to be replaced. She was screaming and crying, the nurse at a loss. The nurse asked "What do you want me to do?", and my wife through tears and pain said in despair "I don't know".

It was terrible for her. When she died I was grieving but so relieved her suffering had ended. She didn't deserve that suffering. 

Those memories still haunt me to this day, ten years later. The saddest thing is was that she told me she wanted to die in Jan, but she was strung out until her death at a nursing home in early May. She suffered needlessly, and now I have these terrible memories that won't go away. I wish her death had been so much better.

Now Peter Short's family is putting together a film called Fade to Black....... You can contribute to the crowdfunding here if you so desire.