Sunday, 7 May 2017

Internet rage!


Today has been a long day battling fuckin technology! Ugh, it's just lucky I'm a patient old fart with this sort of thing or I may well have bought out the hammer and destroyed the whole thing in a fit of rage! Honestly, it has been nightmarish.

Sooooo, the other day the old router died, leaving David and I with only one LAN connection and no WiFi. We had to take turns being connected to the internet, a completely unworkable situation. Luckily there was some money left over from David's super withdrawal to address the problem, and I proceeded to go and get a brand spanking new all in one modem/router from a Dodo kiosk.

I went to them as they're our ISP and it'd be easier to set up with my technologically challenged mind. Three easy steps it said on the box. Sounded much better than when I battled through setting up the secure WiFi with the other one. You just plug it in and it magically sets itself up they said at the kiosk.

Actually it was pretty easy to get it up and running. Just as soon as I realised I'd plugged the internet phone line into the wrong socket. Soon we were both using our computers again simultaneously. 

But the problems began. The internet seemed to just drop out for periods and nothing would connect. At times it was like dial up. The new smick machine seemed that it was a bloody technological lemon. 

Then it happened. This morning I tried getting online and the bloody thing just wouldn't connect, despite the PC saying it was connected. Not even the home page would load. Turned the new machinery off and on with some effect; I'd get about 2 minutes of internet and then it wouldn't connect again. Then the net dropped out altogether and wouldn't connect at all. It was at this stage I thought of the hammer.

Tried over and over, turning everything off and back on (usually works that) and getting cryptic gibberish messages from Windows diagnostics which I had not the faintest idea WTF it was saying. After a couple of hours I gave up and rang Dodo for help.

The call centre technical dept was actually very good. Got through straight away on the phone. However then began about an hour and a half of me trying various things suggested by the guy only for every one of them to fail to connect. At one point the phone battery died and I had to rush into the bedroom to get the charged handset next to the bed. Eventually even the technical guy was stumped and had to go and get help himself from someone even more tech savvy than him. 

At that point whilst he was away and me listening to Dodo hold music, the internet suddenly connected. And worked fine. I nearly bloody fainted. The guy came back and I say "I have some good news..."  

He gave a very involved description of what the problem had been which was right over my head. But it sounded something like when I installed the new modem there was a delay at their end in recognising it. Sounds bizarre to me but that's pretty much it. So all that drama for days and thoughts of the hammer, and the problem wasn't even here but at the other end! I should have rung them earlier.