The farewell fuck

I got home thankfully in time after my solicitor I was seeing on the way home from work. His ride was coming at 6 and I was a bit late. I was greeted by a beaming face with his new cap/hat thing (it suited him really well, completely unlike that ghastly beanie he was wearing before, that he can't find anymore). It was so good to see him. 


"Hello dolls how are you?"- him
" Hello darling I'm home!" -me.


He's fully clothed all ready to go, with that hat making him look really friendly and nice (along with his smile of course). I go into the bedroom where he's just finished packing, and I find a couple of DVD's of porn I'd burnt onto a disk and give them to him as a parting gesture, putting them into the bag he's just zipping up. 


BTW I have the very best porn. Nearly a Terra byte of it. 


We start kissing each other.  It's been fuckin mind blowing the last three days. The sex and connection with each other leading to a very intense experience for both of us. Where both amazed, stunned, in love. We've never felt so connected and so close. Never explored so much of each other sexually. We are completely engrossed with each other, completely at peace, completely in love.


I get undressed out of my work clothes and we end up lying on the bed together, me in my undies and him still fully clothed about to leave. We face each other, holding each other as we do in bed after the sex. Tightly. Hands start roaming... He feels my ass and his fingers seductively massage the rim, pushing a touch inside with one finger. 


It's so fucking sensitive, still sort of turned-on from the day before. We have only 20 minutes before his ride comes. He wants to fuck me, a parting gift! 


"Oh fuck it"-me, throwing off my undies. He pulls his pants down, and slowly puts his dick in. He's so hard and excited, but he's going slowly as I like that. Pushes in more, then more.... soon reaching the target. A discovery of the last 3 days. High up, it's fuckin mad. Can feel it through your whole body. His dick finally pushing in to that. OMG!!  we're one again! 


But this is just a parting gift, not a new exploration. We were going over the last few days with this in our heads. Remembering the love and connection we felt. It was nearly time for him to go, but we both remember...... It was still there, stronger than ever. 


We pull apart. This is no time to cum, the atmosphere almost too meaningful for that. He wants us to live together, my reply being that it was certainly moving in that direction. I'm still recovering from last years break down, in many ways feeling rather nearer to the breakdown than the recovery in my journey. I don't want to go too fast, for my own sake. 


But I cant forget him, and don't want to let him go. Scared of the love and what it might do to me if it goes wrong. But no, I like life scary! I like the risks, I like the ability to change and go forward. I like to live life (if I am in fact not going to top myself like I wanted to last year). Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Bit at least it's life, and not just another monotonous droning noise from those trapped in their own world and not able to escape it.


He leaves. Rings later and we both feel the same; both on the same page. He's coming again in a month he says, and staying for a month this time. 

We set ourselves on fire

Oh God, do not deny her

It's not if I believe in love

If love believes in me

Oh, believe in me

......

I've been in every black hole

At the altar of the dark star

My body's now a begging bowl

That's begging to get back, begging to get back

To my heart

To the rhythm of my soul

To the rhythm of my unconsciousness

To the rhythm that yearns

To be released from control