Friday, 28 March 2014

Depression struggle continues

I was going to see the psychologist for my monthly head reading Monday before last, but ironically felt so down I didn't want to go. Emailed and got it postponed, he was off this week so I', seeing him this coming Monday now.

Have still been struggling with my mood. At times it seems like darkness and mental paralysis. Other times I'm not so bad. The happy pills put a floor under it all.

Started getting all this anxiety the other day. David was disturbed by it and suggested it may have something to do with missing my psychology appt. I dunno. I rave a lot here on the blog and get shit out of my system that way, although the psychologist to bounce things off would be better. In the end everything helps, there's no magic pill or bullet.

Another thing David suggested was that it was coming up to the anniversary of my wife's death in May. By now these years later it doesn't have much of an effect on me anymore. In fact I was surprised last year when my daughter took the whole day off work because of the anniversary I mean I loved her deeply and all, but it'll be 8 years this year since she died. Anyway David thought there might be something subconscious about this anniversary this year after how my daughter has excommunicated me from her life. Who  knows, will discuss it Monday and see what the psychologist's take on it is. 

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