Wednesday 20 April 2011

The needle dream

I certainly wasn't expecting that to be the nightmare of the night. Haven't had the-needle-dream for ages. Gave me quite a laugh though with a couple of blokes at work afterwards.

The-needle-dream, for those who may not know, is very specific. Those who get this dream are confined to people who are, or have used, needles to take drugs. Being as there has been a free needle exchange here (since about the '80's I think in response to AIDS) there are rather a lot of us in Australia who chose to use a needle when taking drugs, as the needles are free and you don't have to share. 

Myself I used needles long ago when I was in my 20's. Speed was back then my drug of choice. I stopped for nearly 20 years, and only started again casually in the last 3 years. I've never had a problem with putting the needle down and not wanting any more. Recent times involved ice, some kind of more sophisticated thing evidently than speed. The sessions never got more than once or twice a month, and again I never had a problem stopping. Presently I've not had anything for about 6 months I think, doubt I will either given the kidney thing. Scared to take anything more than a fuckin Panadol these days.

Certainly many might consider using a needle as the lowest form on life on the planet. Yet I've known people who've gotten themselves in more trouble with ice from smoking it, as it's readily available like that. Just pull out the pipe and off you go. Mixing up for a hit requires a bit of organisation and a private setting. And I've met many people, who the general community would never suspect in a million years of needle use. Responsible people in well paid responsible jobs. Not scumbags on a street corner. It's simply a different way to take the drug. The free needle exchange has undoubtedly saved many from disease over the decades here. Sometimes people go through bad times, and they're going to use a needle no matter what. Better it's a clean one.

So anyway, the needle dream. It's where you have this nightmare. Your mixing up, the expectation of having a hit is all there in the dream. But something always goes wrong! Last night I mixed up half, tapped the needle and ready to go, and the dream somehow had everything dissolve away into nothing in the needle. WTF? Was utterly horrified in the dream. Decided to mix up the other half and try again. Then guess what, the cops busted me! FUCK! All that expectation, ready to go, and it all went so wrong. Didn't get to have any of it!

Laughed when I woke up. Good grief. Went to work and told one of the blokes there, "I had the needle dream last night". We had this hilarious conversation about it, "Oh yeah the needle dream! And you never ever get to have it!", "Yeah, I got busted by the cops! the ultimate needle dream nightmare!"

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