Family

Been having incredibly vivid dreams of late. All in full colour, and much of them I remember in some detail. Since am not on any HIV meds it can't be that. Maybe the Efexor? 300mg a day is a lot. Dunno. Last night, without going into it all, involved my father as the focal point. The main gist of it was him saying I was "hopeless". I have no idea what that's supposed to mean, if anything. Dad's been dead and buried in New Zealand for over 10 years. The upbringing left something to be desired, it was a very dysfunctional family. My older brothers and sisters were all from another relationship, and they very much resented me. They considered that I was spoilt and they had to do all the work on the farm. Dad was from another era, much older than me. Anything that didn't involve the predictable growing up, marrying, having kids, and spending your whole life in the local area, was to him "hopeless". 

Couldn't stay awake last night and retired to the bedroom at 7pm. Fell asleep straight away, and slept pretty much until 7am. The rain has stopped but still very overcast. Not a cold night because of the cloud cover. Cat slept on the rug on the floor most of the night, before deciding the bed was warmer. I think she's a bit on the dumb side. 

Cold seems slightly better this morning, perhaps I'm coming to the end of it.

A week till I go out to see Simon in the country. Leave next Sat. Still feeling apprehensive, but it's only a week out there, what could go wrong in a week? Will take my PC, but he has no internet. May write a daily thing like I did in the hospital and post it when I get back. There's the library out there too that he goes to to read his emails. He even has a Facebook account, very advanced for him, complete with bazillions of mysterious friends that he hasn't the faintest idea who they are. He uses it to keep in touch with a few people he knows. My Facebook account is largely abandoned, it's there if someone wants to contact me (I don't know who) and I get the email thing saying I have a message. But the whole Facebook thing seems way too complicated and very hard to navigate around, so I just can't be bothered with it. Email is fine for me.

Going by train will be interesting. Will take the camera in case there's anything interesting to take a picture of. The way the train goes (and the bus after that) I've never been that way before, and most of the towns on the way I've not seen.