Tuesday, 5 April 2011

I feel like shit

I have it appears the same cold as my daughter, the same cold that the kids have at the child care centre where she works. She has been sick with it all last weekend, worse for her as she seems to have some allergic thing along with it and sneezing constantly. Now I have the sneezes a bit, headache, body ache, and work ache. Ended work today (it was busy) and just felt so bad. Hurting all over. Had 4 beers on the way home from work. They at least have helped my muscles to relax. Feel half human again. Will try to run a hot bath shortly that would be great.

Talked with the psychologist re daughter yesterday during my appt. His take on it was that the period dilemmas may be a reflection of something bigger, given what she also has been through in recent years. I agree, have said for years she's needed to go to counseling and actually deal with the issues bothering her rather than ignoring them. He's going to consult his colleges and see if they know a counselor or psychologist she'd be able to see. Whether she will or not is another story and entirely up to her, but at least the opportunity will be there. He agrees with me also that I'm just not able to deal with her issues. I'm not a counselor or psychologist, and I'm barely able to deal with mine.

So it looks like we're both fuckin fucked. Blind leading the blind. Oh fuckin joy. 

My recent feelings of depression are simply normal and expected, how did I know that was what he was going to say? But it does make sense. Almost like some kind of delayed reaction. I was too involved in the whole thing concentrating on getting better, and my mind was only half working, so I wasn't able to process what was happening fully. Now when things sort of are back to normal, is when the reality of what happened really sets in. Now that my head's working and can take hold of it all. 

But I haven't been thinking about suicide, so things are looking up.

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