Both of us are feeling pretty bloody discouraged right now. Both sort of on the edge or something. Walking around close to tears half the time. This morning I was almost numb when I woke up. Like I can't feel anything very well. That happens when things get too much, an overload somehow. My head switches off for a bit. Go a bit vacant.
As for what's going on, I wouldn't know where to begin. From my daughter leaving in a fit of hate, to David's work fucking him over, to being fucked over every step of the way by bureaucracy for the last 6 weeks, to being in impossible debt because of it all, to not being able to control anything.
Was lying in bed this morning after David got up reflecting on the past few months. Indeed the situation looks impossible. We both feel abandoned. The dark thoughts started. Suicide goes through my head. The sad thing is that it's actually starting to look like a realistic option again. I just can't go on like this being fuckin clobbered at every fuckin turn.
Likely I'll be feeling better about things in a week. We've got a week full of appts coming up. Medical certificates have to be written by our doctors for Housing, psychologist appts, seeing ACON about David's work discrimination, seeing the $guru about all this debt, Centrelink ringing to finally finalise his whole claim. Fuck me that's depressing enough in itself! I have a funny feeling I might be walking through this week feeling rather vacant :s
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