It's very dark.
It happened; a visit from the pain monster. I dunno what triggered it, but it had me huddled into a corner in the kitchen. Last night.
I cried again, not simply because I was feeling the pain, but because the pain was hurting me again. The monster slashing with it's claws. When I thought it was over another wave would come, but thankfully decreasing.
At the end I was numb in bed, beyond crying. Still the odd tear coming without even crying. The monster had it's way last night. I had no choice but to ride it out. Me lying there stunned, staring above me into nothing.
Today I was still numb. Emotionally and physically exhausted. I am so very very tired of this. I will not again go through it, endless pain.
Late today I felt a bit better. Just enough to give a bit of hope.
I fuckin hate this time of year.
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