Baby steps

Over the migraine (oh thank fuck) and today no dialysis. Am going to endeavor to go out and do the odd thing or two. Get a Medicare refund for the GP that's been sitting in the drawer for a month. Get a couple of prescriptions before my $5 safety net thing runs out end of year and goes back to before. Maybe even get a few little things at the supermarket down the road.


The hardest thing is to try not to overdo it. To have such a sudden crash in health means I'm likely to put my brain into gear before my body. Just have to keep reminding myself to take it slowly, don't do things if they seem a bit much. Patience.


I didn't have a problem asking my daughter to get the cat food yesterday though. Not much else I could do paralysed in bed with a migraine. She however I think is welcoming the opportunity to help, as it's a way to express how she cares for me. 


This whole Great Kidney Collapse episode has in many ways bought us very close together, certainly far more than I'd have expected even 6 months ago. She came in the hospital room when I was getting the Frankenstein catheter out of my neck, wasn't allowed to talk or move much for about 20 minutes and she sat there beside the bed. Could hear her crying a bit seeing me in such a vulnerable state, made worse by her losing her mother/my wife in 2006. 


It has helped to me being completely honest with her about everything. She knows about me jumping the fence, she knows about the HIV, she knows about Simon (thinks he's very nice). That honesty and knowledge has given her the wherewithal to deal with the current situation in a mature and caring expressive way. I can't imagine if all of this had been thrown on her in one hit, fuck, the hospital nightmare would've been tenfold.....


My psychologist is on leave this week, but he had one of his fellow psychologists at the HIV centre ring me to see how I was doing this morning. Wow, that is really beyond the call. So lucky to have someone like that who really does care. I'm much more than just a job to him it appears, he really enjoys helping people like me.