I was going to entitle this post "Sick of being sick", and go into a bit of a rave about how stressful the (lessening) slime disease was now being in the 4th week. But then I turned on the PC and saw this story, about a 17 year old told he is dying.
I think about confronting my own death, but who knows when that will be? I may very well live to a ripe old age. Yet here I find this person giving his final goodbye:
Shaun Wilson-Miller, 17, has battled heart problems since he was a child but last week he was given his worst diagnosis yet.
A biopsy revealed his body was rejecting his second heart transplant and doctors say they cannot perform a third.
Shaun, who became a Heart Kids Ambassador at the age of 13, filmed a video titled "My Final Goodbye" in which he thanks his family and friends and tells them he will miss them."This has been an awesome ride and I have no regrets," Shaun says."Live life to the fullest because you never know what's going to happen."Shaun's father Cameron told ninemsn he was extremely proud of his son, who has become an inspiration to many others with health problems."He did that all himself. At first I didn't want him to make the video and I told him not to," Cameron said."But it's out there and it's touched a nerve all over the world."Cameron said his son wanted to spread his message about staying positive to as many people as possible."He just wants to be positive in life, no matter what happens to you in life, be positive," Cameron said.
I dunno WTF to say. What got me was his fathers comment about "dealing with the cards he's been dealt".
I've said before how that at times I've wished for another hand, another chance. But alas, "There ain't no shuffling of the cards that you're dealt". The courage, the acceptance, to deal with those cards is perhaps one of the biggest things facing illness, particularly when it's terminal.
Unless I get clobbered by a bus or shot dead by a maniac, HIV will ultimately be the illness that kills me. It may be sooner or later, who the fuck knows. But in facing death I will surely be doing well to have the same outlook as this young 17 year old; an inspiration.