Simon rang last night and is coming on Wed. Long drive from out there in the middle of nowhere. Won't get here until about 8pm he says. Think he's here in Sydney for a few weeks this time. I know he has to look after that house whilst his friend goes and sees her family in England for a month, but I dunno when she's leaving exactly. He also wants to see the dentist down here he's been going to as the one out there in Lightning Ridge is apparently a "butcher".
Finding myself a touch nervous this time. Not sure why. He's very full on with wanting to do things and go out, where as I'm happy to just sit around and do fuck all. I've got no money to be going out all the time anyway. Might just be he doesn't get the chance to much out in the sticks and goes a bit bananas in Sydney. I sometimes end up just telling him "I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, but off you go mate don't let me stop you". That's worked fine in the past.
Think my internet time is a bit of a hassle too. I often spend a couple of hours in the morning online. He (being older and without the internet at his place) seems to think that's pretty much doing nothing. I tell him it's not like that, there's a whole online world out there and once you start getting involved with it all it can be very useful. He was a bit shocked when I told him I "had" to get another PC recently as the other one carked it, and put the $400 on the credit card to get it. He thought that was a terrible waste of money. WTF? I said that I spend ages online and it's part of my world right now.
I dunno I'm just so fucked at maintaining friendships or any kind of relationship at all now. When problems come I just go "oh fuck it" and can't deal with the hassle. Hopeless. Maybe it will come back over time, but I'd guess it's part of my behaviour now after my life's train wreck. Lucky Simon is patient.
Saw this at Dave's blog:
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