Wednesday 11 April 2012

DHS dramatics

Simon rang yesterday, seemed rather eager to speak. I was in the supermarket which is completely no reception on my phone with Telstra. Yep, that's both home with fuck all and the supermarket with nothing. There's one spot at the freezers where you can actually get a text message, which I got saying he'd rung. Luckily I was at the freezers and was able to text back that I wasn't in range. He just said "ring when you can". Unusual as it's normally no biggy.

I immediately got another text message only seconds later (Oh FFS, why does everyone have to ring at the only time in the day that I'm completely in a fuckin black spot?). It was from "DHS" telling me to ring them. Who the fuck are they? I said out loud. Anyway the text they'd left a number to ring (how does Telstra do that anyway? Is it some kind of voice recognition they convert into a text when a message is left?). Soon after I realised DHS was in fact the Dept of Human Services, which is the faceless office in Canberra currently processing my application for early release of Superannuation. Oh fuck I thought, as I went through the checkout. WTF do they want now? 

Got home and put away the groceries. Taking a few deep breaths to remain calm. It doesn't take much to get me into a bit of a mental crisis darlings. What did Simon want? Was something wrong? What did the DHS want? Where they ringing to tell me my claim had been denied?

I ring the DHS from the land line, and proceed to listen to about 2 minutes of blathering crap that I already know, before it gets to where I can "press one".....   I get through, and am informed that there is a "high volume" of calls right now. I put the bloody phone on speaker and turn on the PC for something to do while I wait. The music is elevator music from the 1950's, and it fades in and out with static like it's half off a radio station. I'm on hold for at least 20 minutes, maybe longer. Daughter walks through the room to the kitchen and we chat. Finally I'm talking to a person....

It's not the person Jason, who's dealing with my application (of course) so he has to read through the computer screen to see WTF is the story why I have to ring back. Finally he tells me a note has been left on there by Jason saying that I need to supply statements from the bank that are less than 30 days old re the amount of debt. 

OMFG! I try not to swear. For Fucks Sake I thought. What's happened by my reckoning is that the loan from one of the banks only has a 3 month statement period, not monthly. The last statement I sent of that was in Feb, with the 3 month period ending in Jan, so that was fine. Now as it's taken so long for the DHS to process this bloody application, that statement is now more than 30 days old. Also, I'm not getting any statements at all any more from the other bank as they've cancelled my whole credit card account and told me to chop up the card. 

I go online and the first bank site tells me that there's no statement available for the last 2 months (it's a 3 monthly statement so it's too early) so I take a screen shot of the last 2 months of transactions up to today with the closing balance. I hope they're satisfied with that. The other cancelled card account I've asked the financial adviser at BGF to get something off the bank saying how much I owe to send to them. 

Fuck this is mental. At the end of my email to the DHS (with 4 attachments) I also put a short paragraph saying that this is the third time I've been asked for more info, that it's been nearly 6 months since I started this whole process, that it's stressing me out badly, and to give this application now urgent attention. Honestly, I think it would've been easier just to fuckin go bankrupt.

So after all of that phoning and emailing and stressing, I go run a bath. Haven't had one for ages. Showers are OK but it's nothing like a bath with lots of salts, really relaxes me and takes away all the aches and pains. Simon rings while I'm in the bath on my mobile, but luckily with me in the bath with a lot of water the phone reception seems fine. Ahhhhhhh, very nice. In the bath talking to Simon, bubbles everywhere......

He's been waiting to tell me some good news, how wonderful. When he was here in Sydney last (regular blog readers may remember) his town outback - Lightning Ridge - was surrounded by flood waters for about 2 weeks or so and he couldn't get back. Turns out the Federal gov as part of it's flood relief package for the area, is giving people who couldn't get back $1,000 to help with accommodation expenses incurred being stranded away. Wow! And the dear sweetie, has decided to give me $200 of it as he was staying with me at the time. Awe, what a darling. I'm so touched. I never expect to get money off anyone, rather independent I am, have to convince myself to take their help if it's offered as I sort of fell a bit guilty or something.

Told him about the DHS dramatics, and he was even more pleased to help.

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