On the verge of a Super success!

I got yet another phone call from the Dept of Human Services today. It was Jason, the bloke there dealing with my application for early release of my Superannuation. He wanted to discuss the latest emails, PDF's, and other attachments from both me and the $guru. I was able to clarify that he needed to look at the JPEG attachment as that was the up to date screen shot of the loan (which only has 3 month statements so I did a screenshot of the latest transactions to date). He was happy with that. Unfortunately as the $guru had been a third party with the other bank and their letter had come through him it wasn't acceptable. He needed something to be sent directly from the bank to him (Oh FF bloody S). 

But he was able to ring the $guru at my request, as I explained this had all done my head in long ago and the $guru was guiding me through all this as I wasn't mentally incapable of meandering through all this crap on a weekly basis. Um, well not in those exact words, but the inference was there. I actually said he'd been holding my hand through it all whilst I freaked out. I also commented about the horrifying (darlings) evil bank that had to be dragged kicking and screaming just to follow the legislation, and a formal complaint made to the Financial Services Ombudsman about my case. Jason was pretty good actually. Sounded actually a bit caring (for a bureaucrat) and said it wouldn't be much longer. As soon as the thing was received directly from the bank then the funds could be released within 24-48 hours. I nearly fuckin fainted on the spot. 

So I rang the $guru about an hour later. He'd received the call from Jason, and was going about getting the bank to send something directly to him. This is the final hurdle of this 6 month War and Peace episode with the gov. I am running down the home straight to the finish line. I can see it just ahead. 

I was at work when all this happened. I started digesting the events. Had a relaxing beer on the way home. The events sparked off many thoughts.

As this is the last major thing to sort out from the ongoing train wreck of many years that is my life, does this mean that the end of the train wreck is near? It's been so very very long since anything went remotely right. Just the thought that the end of my train wreck may be near makes me cry. For the last years I've been experiencing the wreck in some weirded out slow motion. This money thing was like the last carriage still moving along and crashing into things before it stopped. I so hope that last carriage is stopping.

I don't believe it all happens for a reason. WTF would be the reason for me? To drive me suicidal? To destroy me? It's simply fate, for me. The hand that fate deals you. A chance of the universe. I got a really fuckin bad hand. I dunno how much shit chance can deal out in one lifetime, but I got a big handful of it. It was way way more than I or anyone could deal with. It's only from the support of the society here that I survived. At the worst times I was measuring plastic bags over my head, among other things. 

I remember at one point in tears at one of the many psychologist's visits. Relating this song to him:

"Time can be so hard,
 Ain't no shuffling of the cards that your dealt".

I said to him, "All I want is another chance, another hand dealt...."  

To think that this may be the end of the shit.... I'm too scared to even hope....