Psychologist visit - stress and panic attacks

Went to the psychologist on Monday, the first visit after the horror of last month. I explained much of what happened. The bullshit week we had that saw me having that terrible panic attack on the Friday night. The frustration and anguish experienced in the month. The anxiety about the possibility of homelessness. The whole calendar for last month full to the brim with appts. The uncontrollable shaking I experienced simply over getting a form signed at the real estate agent. The  being driven to tears at Centrelink. The being told to go to charity. On and on it went.......

He was keenly concerned about the panic attack experience. I said the thing that scared me the most about it all was that it completely took over and I was powerless to stop it, despite my trying the normal coping strategies. I explained how it was much more than panic and fear, it was sheer unbridled terror. I explained how my arms and legs had started going numb and how things seemed far off and distant. He thought that sounded like dissociation, where the mind sort of breaks from reality, like an overload or some shit.

Of course I was reminded of the techniques you can use to bring yourself back to the present so to speak. Concentrate on what's happening around you now, not what has or might be. In essence, the present is the only true reality we have. The past is gone, the future is unknown. I bring myself back to now by simply hearing and seeing things around me, being aware of them, the present reality. *birds sing*

It's a bit bloody hard to do that though when your right smack in the middle of an overwhelming panic attack :s

An interesting thing that came out of the meeting near the end. After relating all this and discussing about strategies to deal with it, we talked a little about David's discrimination case. He agreed with me that when it came time to consider damages, that what has happened to me should be considered as part of those damages. 

After all, none of this would have happened had not David's work fucked him over with discrimination and victimisation. Quite apart from both of our mental health issues, the last year of treatment of David by his work now sees us facing bankruptcy. Which may very well be only weeks away at present.