Sunday, 10 July 2011


Not exactly partying here. All I've felt like doing all weekend is staying home. Blustering strong cold winds outside. Going to the shops and a couple of beers at the pub in the afternoon is about it. The diarrhea has nearly gotten better, was still up through the night with it though. Makes about 4 days altogether. Daughter only got it one night and then was fine. Might ask the doctor tomorrow at my Infectious Diseases appt about it. Don't think it's a concern anymore though as it looks like it's pretty well better.

Going to bed by about 8pm. Shocking! Fuck all on the telly as usual, would rather go to bed and read a book for a while. 

Been feeling sort of detached lately. Like the world is going by and I can't identify with what's happening anymore. Haven't watched the news for example in about two weeks. It all seems so pointless and irrelevant. Even at work, I find myself wondering WTF I'm doing there, a cog in the wheels of the modern world. Wonder why people get so pissed off about seemingly nothing in the world, I mean when you're on your death bed WTF will most of these trivial little things matter?

People seem to be so caught up in the everyday minutia of living, so engrossed in every detail of what's going on around them, that they don't appear to have any idea of a bigger picture than our present everyday existence. Like millions of ants in an ant hill, they go about their lives of assumed importance. What will all their efforts at building a "successful" life (whatever that means) matter when they die? 

What really matters in life? The house? The car? The money? The personal empire? The business? These things are considered signs of a successful person in today's world. When really all they are in the end are things, meaningless things. You can't take any of it with you. What really matters IMO is people, and how you treat them.

Society has warped it's sense of success.


  1. phantomtexasrose11 July 2011 at 13:17

    Darling, Amen to that. I was fortunate to learn that lesson when I was very young and had absolutely no more than I could carry on my back. I have much more stuff now, and a job like yours where people depend on me, but I have never forgotten that it is people, and how I treat them, not things that matter. I could lose all tomorrow and not despair. I have had nothing before and could have nothing again. In the end you can't take any "thing" with you to the grave. All you truly leave behind is how people remember you as a friend, acquaintance, husband and father, not what "things" you had. You're a good man and I love you for it. Your friend in Texas.

  2. You're so sweet darling. I'm still thinking of you you know that. W had nothing, and I had to borrow money to pay for her funeral. But the mark she left in our lives from the way she loved us still see not just me and AR, but many other of her family and friends as well, missing her.

    Take care dearie. It's a long road.