Monday, 18 July 2011

Overcoming fear

Got to work today, the first work day after that fear episode Friday morning when I didn't go. I woke up after dreaming bad dreams again. Not terrible dreams, but the sort of ones that leave you not wanting to get up and face the world. The cat jumped on the bed as usual when it was time, and I said to it "I feel terrible puss". She proceeded of course to ignore what I said and rub her face against my cheek purring her head off. Typical. Got up and got ready for work and fed her, much to her delight. 

It seems it's the dreams and the way I feel when I wake up after them that are the biggest obstacle with work now. Getting up and getting there after those dreams is hard. I find myself just wanting to lay in bed, the cat keeping me company, and not leave the house. Forced myself up, reminding myself that even an hour or a few minutes at a time was the way to go. My guess was that work would be OK once I got there, and my fear unfounded.

Work wasn't too bad today after all that.The immediate supervisor is on holidays all week and I was left alone in peace without them having a panic attack about every fuckin job in the place. Think I actually got more done.

Tomorrow I have yet another Infectious Diseases appt. It's the one that was arranged 2 or 3 months ago but they told me to keep it and still come in. After the appt I'm going to have a 45 minute interview by a student doctor who needs to study a complex case as part of their curriculum. Am looking forward to it as it sounds like it might be interesting.

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