The bashing in the hallway I don't need reminding of as it's there in my head now forever. However the circumstances around it are a bit blurry after nearly 6 months and neither David and I have had the opportunity to compare each others statements, as we were of course interviewed separately making them. So last night I read out the bits of mine that were relevant (apart from the usual bla at the beginning of these things) which David found quite interesting, and he did the same with me.
They pretty much correlated exactly with each other, even complementing each other as we each covered things that the other left out. But there was one thing in David's statement concerning my brother that lifted the veil on him.
David has some kind of photographic memory. He can remember names of people in TV shows from decades ago for example. Weird. But anyway so he remembers exactly what my brother Kevin said to him when Kevin asked him for a head job. It was the beginning bit that clicked in my head:
"I've given those two enough alcohol so once they have passed out how about you give me a head job"Which is why David told him to get the fuck out. But WTF? What does he still think he can control me or something, manipulate me? I'm the one who decides if I'm going to have a beer or not, not him.And so this is going around in my head for a minute or so and then I realise what it meant; he had planned this. Planned to get me pissed and David suck his dick (fuck, talk about delusions of grandeur
No wonder David told him to fuck off quite apart from all the other reasons ).The fuckin vile prick!
He'd have done it before too. I know for a fact years ago he said he would take trips up to Auckland from Taranaki in NZ for "sanity control". Last time I'd seen him was at a restaurant with my sister and her husband along with David. David was the one who after that meeting, long before I ever knew anything about his sexuality, that he was coming on to David. What, did he honestly think that he was going to come down here to Sydney, and have my partner of two years at that time get with him, in our own home?
Man was he ever wrong about that. He had no idea of how David and I feel about each other, the love and commitment we have for each other, the respect and caring. It's beyond belief that he could even contemplate coming between that.
The worst thing is that he was doing it to me; his own brother!
He's always been jealous of me, looks like insanely jealous now. Reckoned me and my younger brother were spoilt and the older ones did the hard yards on the farm. Like I've said I can't remember a single kind thing he ever did for me growing up. Looking back he hated me deep down.
At dad's funeral years back I went back to NZ for it, afterwards the family was having a couple of beers in a trendy pub, and in front of everyone he asked me "So did you like those Christmas presents you got, that we worked so hard to pay for on the farm?" Fucks sake, I was a child. I had no control over circumstances but yet he's been blaming me all these years.....
He must have been livid at that restaurant meal we had with my sister and all. Here I am in Sydney, succeeded after leaving Taranaki in the dust decades ago, with a hot partner living authentically. Compare that to his fucked up life; three failed relationships, kids everywhere, frustrated sexually.
I'm sure as he planned this, in the back of his mind he'd have been thinking payback to me. Fuckin hell man, the nut needs medication.
Which brings me to a discussion I was having with my sister about it all. If he's that screwed up, frustrated, angry, and all, in the head, then FFS go and see someone. Like I do, like David does, like my sister used to. Why put everyone else through hell because he's so fucked up like that? To me it's the height of selfishness to expect everyone around you to cop your shit because you can't be bothered getting psychological help. Or take pills. Or whatever.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment