Two appts today

Have two appts today. I had specifically made one early and one late, so as to still be able to go to work for a few hours. But after last weeks episode at work I just thought "fuck it". Why the hell should I bother running around all day for them? Half the days I had off for appts on the list were marked down as having the whole day off anyway, even though I'd worked until 1pm then left for the appt.

Very good visit to the Renal Clinic. My kidney blood results are very nearly back to normal. The blood they took last visit 3 months ago the creatinine was at 115. The one before that was 140, and 160 the one before that one. Doctor thinks it may even go back into the normal range of 85-90. Even hinted that if so he'd be able to discharge me from the clinic. Wouldn't be after a period of monitoring though to make sure it was OK. A fantastic result.

Seeing psychologist this afternoon. Will ask him about the whole 3 day shift thing. Maybe he even knows something about assistance from Centrelink or Housing that I might be able to get. 

Got a reply to the email I sent to ACON regarding the housing issue. Want me to come in for a chat to explain my whole situation, so I will do so when the shift changes I suppose. Also asked if I could consult a social worker at all about it, which I'd not realised. I can see one through the Infectious Diseases clinic. Have an appt with them later this month. Have emailed them to say I need to see one there.

I honestly don't know if I'll qualify for anything at all, the system here is so complex. One thing I've learned though over many years, is that you have to be very proactive in seeking assistance. Nobody is going to come knocking on your door telling you what you can get.

I'm starting to consider if perhaps I went back to full time work too early, or even if I can do full time work anymore at all. I was eager of course because of the money situation, and it seemed like a good step to make as part of my recovery, but the appts have become a huge issue for them. The stress involved with that is something that I absolutely have to avoid. HIV and stress just don't mix. 

Half the problem is from management anyway IMO. The staffing levels have been cut back to the bone. I keep telling them they need an afternoon shift on my machine, but to no avail. They could, for example, get the afternoon shift bloke in early if I wasn't there. But they don't seem to see sense on the subject, and then on a day off of mine apparently the sky falls. Get some bloody staff in the place and there won't be this fuckin problem.

It does seem to be the way things are going with companies now though. Cut costs any way you can, cut staff, all so the shareholders can line their pockets. They don't give a fuck about the increasing workload on the shop floor, all they want is their money. Meanwhile the staff that are left in the place have to take on more and more work as part of their daily tasks. 

Maybe it's a good idea to take a step back from it all now, as it's only going to get worse. Perhaps the dysfunctional world of modern Capitalism just isn't the place for me anymore. Perhaps driving your body into the ground for the sake of greedy shareholders isn't the way to go for someone with HIV.