Fear of loss

Last few days has given time for reflection on the big blow up with my daughter and David. Things have become a bit clearer as to what actually happened and what's led up to it.

My daughter appears quite confused as to the reality. If she doesn't get on with David, then WTF does she expect me to do? Leave him? Why would I do that. I love him. We've had hardly any arguments at all in the 1 year we've been together, and the two big ones we had were about her. It's now obvious that she's trying to interfere in our relationship and influence me to not like David and perhaps leave him. 

Why this is so who knows. She doesn't seem to realise the reality that this is my life, my relationship with David. Being in love with David doesn't require me to stop loving her, or her liking David. If it's a mistake then I'll find that out on my own. It's my mistake to make. I don't need her approval to follow my own course. She needs to see this.

She's hardly been here at all the last few days. Came in late last night and went straight to her room. Didn't even say hi, which annoyed David a lot as he thought she could at least say hi to her father even if she was angry at David. She left early this morning for work, and later when I got up I noticed two of the pictures of me and her together on my 50th birthday, she'd put in our room near the door. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. If she cares so much for me then why is she doing that to me? I texted her inquiring WTF? Her basic replies were that she was being pushed out  :s  Fuck, all that's happening is I'm looking after my relationship with David.

Seeing the psychologist Tuesday. Think that's a good amount of time to have passed and the discussion would likely be more productive in hindsight. I know what scares me the most is loss; I've lost so much that the thought of losing either of the two people in this world that I love the most scares the shit out of me. I do know though, David's not going to be putting up with this shit forever. She has her own life, friends, relationships. David is mine, and I'm just looking after him.