Stupid bank sends me PIN

I'm actually getting quite interested now as to WTF this crazy bank is going to do next. I emailed the $guru (who was surprised to hear from me) about it when they sent the letter informing me that I would soon receive a new debit card for my account that was closed 18 months or so ago. The guru said to just ignore it and I thought that would be the end of it.

Until I received this letter yesterday:

So I now have a Personal Identification Number for my non-existent account. Now I'm wondering if they're going to go the whole way with this and send me an actual plastic debit card? I await with anticipation.....

I assume the ultimate conclusion of this will be the account is opened again? In which case the balance will remain at zero, and be closed after about three months and $20 or so of bank fees have accrued because of their charges. At which time the charges are paid by the bank to bring the balance back to zero so the account can be closed, again. That's what I let happen last time 18 months ago.