Nearly back at work

we are putting together a description of duties so that your Doctor can check them and give you sign off to perform some or all of them. We have to go through that as part of OHS so that we have had Medical sign off prior to us allowing you to perform any functions.

I’ll have that later this week

Part of an email reply from my dept head at work. I've made an appt with my GP next Monday and asked for the "description of duties" to be emailed out to me from work by the end of the week so I can give it to him Mon.

This will be a huge milestone. I can't believe it in fact. After all the shit that's happened the last 2 months. I will actually be walking back into work. To be honest for much of the time I had many doubts as to whether I was going to get to that point, even to this point now. Feeling very emotional at the moment......  

It's hard to describe the feelings I'm experiencing. So close to death, so close to permanent disability (both mental and physical), so close to suicide. And all this after years of hell. Flattened on the floor after another knockout punch, this one a killer blow. 

I often remember one particular part of it all, probably one of the (if not the) lowest points. It was during the first hospital stay right after my GP (who prescribed the Naproxen that caused the allergic reaction) rang me to see how I was. I remember completely falling apart, ending up in the little multi-faith chapel there on my own and using the space to release. Remember sobbing in there, "it's got to get better...". Such terrible pain, such despair without end, such hopelessness. I didn't want to go on.

Yet now I'm nearly back at work. Paid employment. Independence. I survived. I got up off the floor somehow, kept going somehow. It doesn't seem real.