Imagine not having HIV

It was another full on week at work. Well, three days I mean. I think I'm getting right back to fitness with the job now, although I still can't imagine doing it for 5 days again. Cut 7 pallets yesterday, which seems to be about the amount with the particular jobs I was doing. My back usually starts aching a bit about lunch time and sometimes I might take a couple of Panadol, and by the end of the day am feeling pretty exhausted. 

The psychologist rescheduled for this Monday. I will have to go this time I think. Want to discuss the latest happenings with Simon. I'm still not angry or anything like that, but am feeling a bit hurt by it all. I'd like to send a quick text saying hi, but then I think he's probably sick of hearing about all my shit.

The Renal clinic rang the other day and rescheduled my appt for about a month away. I didn't think they'd be so concerned about me missing the last one. They even sent me a letter with a new appt card and the new date on it. Will have to go after all that effort by them. I'm sure they'll understand though that people get sick of going, and it's only to monitor the results anyway. But still, I suppose the kidneys aren't really something to be too casual about. The new appt isn't until 9:30, which is a lot better than the last one at 8:15. 

Have been thinking lately how much HIV has become a part of my life now. I tried to imagine what it would be like to not have HIV, and I honestly couldn't do it. So much has it absorbed into every corner of my world. It has some sort of effect on me daily, even if it's only psychological. I'd like to forget about it sometimes, but I can't seem to. It's there all the time. Never goes away.