Simon gets sick of it

Simon and I had a discussion on the phone a couple of nights ago. Without going into the details of it, it became clear to me that he was sick of the ongoing illnesses with me, and the way I was absorbed by it all. For example "All you talk about is your health", and other things.

This is nobodies fault. Not mine, not his. It's simply what happens often in relationships when one is chronically ill. I know with my late wife it was hugely difficult for me, and to be honest there where a couple of times I very nearly left her. It was only because I knew she couldn't look after my daughter that I stayed on those two occasions. 

This isn't so much about me being positive and him negative, to me it's about me being sick and him not. 

And I've had quite a rough trot this year haven't I. Sometimes there's the expectation by the partner that things are eventually going to get better, you're going to be healthy and happy. But then it doesn't work that way. Illnesses just keep going on and on, both physical and mental. There will be I guess no end to this. There may be an improvement as health issues are adjusted, but overall these health issues aren't going to go away. 

They're here for the rest of my life. It's only natural that I'll think and talk about them a lot, and only natural that people will get sick of it. Especially when I don't in fact make health or mental improvements at a rate fast enough to satisfy them.

I've told Simon not to ring me for a while, and not to come and stay this time as he was planning. If he's thinking as he spoke to me 2 days ago, it won't do me any good having him here.