The land of the living

Simon left this morning back to the country. He was only here a few days this time. He'd left his dog with a friend and only bought a small bag of stuff. I think he was wondering as much as I was what to expect after his last stay. We did find each other again though so to speak. It seems I was much improved physically and mentally. Would have to say I'm not the same person I was before the kidney collapse, and whatever point I've reached in recovering from it is in a different direction than where I was going before. Even simply the experience of near death is changing. But whoever I am now Simon and I haven't lost our connection with each other as I was fearing. 

He can be pretty full on at times and me dragging the chain, and sometimes I had to remind him "hey man, it's only been 3 weeks since I stopped dialysis!" I'm still getting into weird moods at times, still in a bit of shock I think as well from the whole experience. You can't just switch that off. My arm is still bruised from them taking blood from it nearly every day week before last. Physically and mentally the whole experience is very fresh, and feeling very raw from it. I want to move on, and am doing so, but the progress can be slow.

The 6 hour days appear to be fine so far. Three days done now. Am doing a bit more too other than just at a table sitting in a chair. Think they've been a bit freaked out at giving me anything vaguely strenuous in case I faint or something! Suppose I can't blame them after I showed them the tubes from the perma-cath sticking out of my chest last week. Was quite fun though seeing their looks of horror!

Got paid for last week, first pay covering an entire week, although only 4 hour days. They paid me the 2 days I had off as two 4 hour days of sick pay, thought that was good. Thinking of stopping at Centrelink tomorrow after work with my payslips. 

The one thing I am noticing is how easily I get anxious and confused when faced with more than one thing. It's a bit overwhelming. Dealing with starting work again, Simon visiting and reconnecting, soon to start HIV meds again, and lots of other everyday things of modern life that seem to pile up in my head like a long list of things to do and I just don't know where to start. In the end I end up just doing one or two things and the rest I put off until the next day. Dunno how long this will last, or if this is what I'm going to be left with regarding brain injury.