Nightmares

Had a bad start to the day today. Woke up after having horrible nightmares for a large part of the night. The mood and feelings involved hanging on for some time after waking up. Nothing to do with any medication, simply nightmares. Perhaps it's to be expected after the last few week's events that I'm going to have the odd night like that. 

Got to work OK. Have been setting the alarm a bit earlier as I'm finding the getting ready for work thing a bit of a challenge, in that I'm disorganised in the head. Still doing the same light work, and made sure they knew of the days coming up that I'm having to have off for appts at the hospital. It turns out I may be getting paid for the days off as well. During the 2 months I had off, although I wasn't there I was technically still employed there and my sick leave entitlements continued to accrue during that time. So I may be able to have some of it paid out of sick leave.

Tomorrows appt is with the heart specialist in the private part of the hospital. Some of them do that; have a private practice but work in the public system as well. I don't have private insurance so he's seeing me as a public patient I suppose and bulk billing. The Renal team rang me this afternoon and have arranged for the perma-cath to be removed tomorrow as well. Hurray! I have to go in early to get blood taken so they can do a final check before taking it out. 

Saw the Infectious Diseases doctor today, and had rather a long chat. The main concern I have with them at the moment is getting back onto HIV medication. They have taken some blood today as they have a pill in mind, and they have a specific test they do to definitively detect if I am allergic to the bloody thing. I go back to see them in 2 weeks, with the view of starting medication again.

During the discussion the doctor noted that my case regarding the Naprosyne had become the subject of much discussion at the HIV clinic (it and the hospital are linked, and doctors work on both campus's) and how to avoid it happening again. The problem is that the numbers are so small with such cases; less than 1% over 10 years. So the doctors haven't seemed to see the need to inform patients about it. My point was that if I knew then what I know now, I'd never have agreed to taking Naprosyne for my back ache. I'd have requested some other alternative, even if it wasn't as effective. I felt like I wasn't given enough information to make an informed decision about my care options. 

The case numbers may be small, but the fact is that the risks aren't about just getting a bit sick, they involve death. Serious life threatening illness. And just look at my case, although my recovery is almost a complete one, just look at what I've gone through with it. Nearly died twice, 2 months off work, a month in hospital total, traumatised beyond belief, and all the flow on effects that I'm going to continue to deal with over time. My head is still damaged from the lack of oxygen and it just depends on the day it seems as to how particularly that affects me. I've lost thousands of $ in wages and gone further into debt. Now I'm getting fuckin nightmares .....