Sad news

Finally got a chance to look at my email this morning. I just don't seem to have time through the week. Actually worked 5 days in a row this week, I think that may be the first full 5 days I've worked since getting back to work. Another milestone. But all I seem to be able to do is post a little on the blog and then I have to go make dinner and get ready for bed. Some days have been going to bed very early as I get more and more tired toward the end of the week. That does seem to be improving though. Normally I can't seem to last past about 8:30. Often I have a nice hot bath to relax my muscles. Have taken to recording the odd show on the telly that for some reason they put on at the ungodly hour of 8:30!

I've set the alarm to 6am now instead of 5:40am. That extra 20 minutes makes a big difference, must be something to do with the body clock? My head seems a bit clearer too lately so am more confident to get everything I need to do done, before walking out the door to work. The weather here has been bloody cold in the mornings suddenly. Most of the houses here don't have any kind of central heating. I just have a heater in the lounge room in the winter and electric blankets on the bed. Might get out the little heater for the bedroom, it's just a small thing that keeps the chill off the room at night. Have it next to the bed to make it easier to get up in the mornings.

Got some very sad and unexpected news today in the emails. An online friend I've known for years, has lost her husband to cancer. Was shocked to read the email as it all happened so suddenly. Only a little while ago things seemed to be going very well with him, and responding to the treatments. I really feel for her as I understand exactly how she feels right now; in fact it's the 5 year anniversary of my wife dying day after tomorrow on the 9th. Hi "C" if you're reading this. Thinking of you today darl..... 

Sometimes I wonder how the fuck I survived you know. There were so many things that happened simply by chance, that if any one of them had not happened I'd have died. I suppose I'm due some kind of good luck from the Universe. Although sometimes I wonder that with all the shit I'm dealing with I might have been luckier to cark it.

Have been feeling happier this last week. The trip away to Simon's has helped a lot. Feeling confident now that we can go forward, take some sort of next step with whatever  our relationship is. I never ever thought I'd ever again want another relationship with anyone. It seems chance has dealt me a good card.