Well here we are the last week before Christmas. As I said I don't feel as affected as in previous years to the pain and drama of previous Christmas's, but this week it seems more apparent than until now. Something about the atmosphere around the place, or maybe it's the way everyone expects that you be happy during this time.
Someone said to me yesterday that "Christmas is what you make it", the inference being that it was wrong of me to be so annoyed with the day. Like Christmas wasn't the problem, it was me and the way I handled it. I'm certainly willing to accept that to a certain degree, but I'd also say that the way I feel about Christmas isn't because of anything planned or thought out on my part. It's been simply what's happened to me in the past to do with Christmas, and not because of me just being a misery about it all.
I guess if I start getting too depressed I could go to the shopping mall for comic relief. There I can watch the lead up to Christmas in all it's glory; including middle aged women nearly clobbering each other over the last shopping trolley available at the supermarket. Or bored shitless men being dragged around by women to be the shopping trolley pusher to the car, after they fill it to the brim with crap. Or I could even venture into the supermarket and watch close up the scenes of complete pandemonium on the day before Christmas. Ah, heart warming it will be..... Peace on earth, good will to man, and all that crap.
Even if you're right into the whole Christmas thing as these shopping maniacs are, it must be an incredibly stressful time. All that cooking, shopping, organising, and the expectation that the day will go marvelously because of all the effort made. Then they end up with a bunch of family members who haven't seen each other all year, getting blind drunk and stuffed full of food around the Christmas table, with the inevitable arguments that follow.
I'll just be glad when this week is over, along with the dreaded day. All it reminds me of is pain.