Thursday, 29 December 2011

Running to stand still

Having some extra time with not going to work. I watched the DVD ZOOTV Live from Sydney. I've not watched it for well over a year. This has particular importance for me as I was there at the actual concert, along with my late wife. She in fact was in a lot of pain as her morphine pump had failed (it was very new technology back then) and was having to rely on giving herself morphine injections in her buttocks for pain control. I remember she did so in the stands as they were playing. I got a bit freaked out as a security guard was standing right behind us as she drew the morphine up into the needle and injected her behind. I guess as it was all in medical vials it must have looked un-criminal. 

The One song on the right is from that exact concert. It expresses how my wife and I felt about people, and how we bought up our daughter. As a family we were always sympathetic to the plight of people around us, and aware that we were all part of one human race. 

I was quite taken watching Running to stand still last night. It's about drugs of course, but more broadly about addiction. But yeah, I can so relate to the drug thing, and how sometimes it was the only way to stop the pain. How that you take it, and then everything's OK for a while. You can't think about tomorrow, you just need the pain to stop now. The drugs in a sense played a part in not suiciding, as strange as that may sound. They stopped me hurting for a while and I could breath. 

That was just me. That was where I was, and how I dealt with it. Drugs were easily accessible and part of life. I used them to forget. 

He does it well in the video, after he blasts the drugs that's exactly how it is. Hold your arm for a sec to stop the blood, then feel the rush. Feel the pain melt away. And know that for a while you won't have to deal with it. It's often why people take drugs. I suppose it's better than suicide. You're not going anywhere though, life just stays in a holding pattern. Well worse if the drugs get out of control, which they often do.

Um, don't try this at home darlings!


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