Hardly slept last night at all both David and I. We've got a bit out of whack staying up into the early hours watching horror movies....
After 30 years of very physical full time work in the printing industry our print dept was outsourced and we all lost our jobs. As I'd gotten HIV beforehand and was having trouble attending and doing work I discussed with my HIV doctor whether I should apply for the Australian Disability Support Pension. He agreed,and I became a DSP pensioner under the new Gillard rules of adherence that now sees 75% of DSP applicants rejected.
Have been diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, chronic kidney failure, and of course HIV. I'd become suicidal in 2009 after 3 extreme life events in a row; My best friend killed herself in the US (I don't make friends easily BTW), my teenage/young adult daughter had me charged by the police with a minor problem, and I was diagnosed with HIV. All in three weeks.
Some say god won't give you more than you can bear, my reply is "Well what happened to me?" If not for the HIV support here in Australia and me being able to have access to it I'd likely be dead by now. Unbearable pain often causes suicide, no matter physical or mental.
Today I've not worked since being made redundant. I remain with episodes of depression and panic attacks, sometimes severe. I may be fine and happy to leave the house, at times I'm paralised in bed, secure and safe and not willing to face the world.