New vacuum cleaner died after 5 mins use - WTF?

Guilty

"Look at me! Look at me!"

Evidently they just don't make things like they used to. I know quality suffers during mass production, but honestly this is bloody ridiculous.

Soooooooo, my sister gave us some money for a wedding present to get something for the house. As our old vacuum cleaner had died due to the plastic it was made out of gradually falling to bits and rendering it useless, we decided to buy a new vacuum cleaner. The dust has been building up and it doesn't help David being allergic to dust.

Upon looking online at The Good Guys we decided on the above vacuum cleaner pictured. A Volta brand one, which I'd never heard of but sounds sort of German, and we all know what good quality goods come out of Germany. So we paid the $159 for it (including the $10 delivery fee) which presently arrived the next day at our door.

At the time I was waiting for a download of David's to finish so I could use my PC (fuck this internet) so I did the deed, unwrapping it from kilometres of plastic (why do they do that - it's safe in a box and won't get scratched). I noted on the top of the box was an unbroken quality assurance sticker across the join. Looked very promising I thought.

After discarding all the plastic bags (that will most likely end up in landfill) and the cardboard holding the thing firmly in place inside the box (at least that can be recycled) I had assembled this magnificent looking thing that seemed to be very sturdy. At least all the joints that connected were. I was further encouraged. No more plastic bits falling apart!

David got home from the doctors and I ceremoniously turned it on, cleaning a bit of dusty rug on the corner to test it. It worked fantastically! OMG we were so impressed! It sucked like there was no tomorrow folks! Making very short work of the bit of rug we were testing it on. Quality assured! Multiple attachments! This thing was rocking! I think you may have to be gay to truly understand our joy here :)

And then it happened, after only 5 minutes. A strange noise came from inside it and the suck went right out of it. I couldn't believe it. We checked to see if there was any blockage anywhere and nothing. In the end I took the hose and all off and turned it on; no suction at all where the hose connected. I could have sucked harder passed out blind drunk. 

Yes folks, all that effort that had gone in to make this thing, put it nicely wrapped in plastic into a box, shipped to Australia from somewhere, and it finally gets to us the consumer, only to bloody cark it after 5 fucking minutes. 

What a complete failure of Capitalism and the whole idea of building something for the absolute cheapest price to give the shareholders more money, reducing the quality of the product, for it only to completely bellyflop after it just makes it over the finish line and then dies. Oh but don't worry, the shareholders have got their money....

Anyway, I rang The Good Guys and they were excellent. I explained we bought it online because we don't have transport to where the nearest store is. So they arranged a courier to pick it up today. They will test it to establish that it indeed has no suck left after only 5 minutes of use, and after that send us a replacement. Surely we couldn't get two of them in a row, both quality assured, that would cark it after only minutes? What are the odds?

To finish my outrage, this is yet another reason why the planet is being destroyed. How much greenhouse gases went in to making this product, shipping it from fuck knows where to Australia, only to have the thing useless? Not to worry though; the shareholders are happy with their money. Fuck the planet, who cares eh?