Trying to get past the shit

Third day of work this week. The four days will be fine I reckon. Am coping with the physicality of it all fine. But they want to ease me in. So that means a 4 day weekend after tomorrow, hip hip hooray! All I got to do is forget about the less money. Daughter too is having less hours that those weeks so money looks a bit tight. Oh what fuckin ever. I just don't care. Life can do to me no more than it's already done. Yes, I'm still waiting for the end of the train wreck, but it just doesn't matter any more. Have had so much to deal with, nothing can hurt any more.

What I don't expect however is to be hurt from people integrally involved in the support of HIV+ people. Last couple of days I've had such a horrible experience with a particular person deeply involved in such. Involved to the point of campaign creation, such like many of the campaigns indicated on the sidebar. Yet this person saw nothing wrong it appears in assuming my character was the worst, jumping to conclusions of the worst, and sending me an email of what I can only describe as on the verge of hysterical. 

I would expect such (on rare occasions) from people not involved in the support of us. But I wouldn't expect it from those who are actually involved with us. I'm gutted. Hurt. I feel terrible. I don't trust some of these people any more. How can they do such a thing to me, who they're supposed to be supporting? All I can think is that for them that it's all about their career in what they're doing, not me. That sucks, big time.. I've had no apology from her. Just a lame little email note, pretty much a form email. It makes me feel isolated and alone.

All this shit is getting in the way of what I really want to post about. But I'm tired, grumpy, and got the fuckin shits tonight. I can't do it justice tonight so it will have to wait. It's to do with a good friend of mine who experienced peanut anaphylaxis for 35 years. Not only survived but is living today with no allergies. She was interviewed on national TV last night about it, and has just released a book of her story. More later when I can, like I said, do her justice in my posting. She and her husband are good friends of mine, and the whole subject is hugely interesting for me given my allergic reaction last year that saw me nearly die twice.