Anxious thoughts

Discussed this with David yesterday over a couple of beers. Has been a very long time since living with someone in a loving relationship. There's quite a bit to get used to. It does appear we're going very well at it so far though.

Think a big plus is living in such a big (albeit old) house. There's room to go to another room or area and do your own thing. Not like we're living on top of each other. Personally I feel like the small boxes that pass for modern units these days have a part sometimes in relationships failing. Living on top of each other may sound romantic for a while, but living in such close quarters is bound to lead to conflict.

David has been quiet and slowly tidying up different parts of the place. Don't think it's a side of him that many people see. He's of course been through his own life dramas. He keeps a brave face on, but when I see him all quiet and wanting to stay home for a couple of days, I know I'm seeing under the mask. Probably because of the way I've had to deal with my own pain.

He even admitted yesterday that he doesn't want to go certain places in his head as he's scared of how much it hurts. He has dealt with things over the years, but as I know from my own experiences with pain, it may mean you can move on but it doesn't mean the pain is no longer there. 

He's settling in fine here though. Quite a thing to all come together. I mean there's so much that could have gone wrong. My daughter may have not got on with him, or he her. The cats would be locked in mortal combat with each other. He may decide he doesn't like living in this area, and other things that may go through my head as my mind runs amok. 

Told David about my sort of waiting for something really big to go wrong, virtually expecting it. The next great catastrophe to befall.  I keep reminding myself however that these are simply thoughts in my head, causing anxiety and fear without foundation. Just because my head thinks something, or expects something, doesn't mean it's right. In fact everything is going along very smoothly in all of this.