No idea why I'm feeling like this right now. Think it may have been building up last few days. haven't gone to work last two days, just didn't want to get out of bed. Back to hiding in the house again.
Feel simply that I've had enough. Tired of struggling, tired of pain, tired of trying to keep going when I just don't feel like it. Would be easy just to end it. No more dramas, no more struggles, no more pain. Just the end...
I hope I feel better soon. It's been a while since I thought of suicide in such a cold matter of fact way; as just the solution to everything. But then again, I ask myself why would feeling better change anything? It's just an excuse to cop more of the same.
Yes, go on Peter. For what? More struggle, more pain, more shit.
Tonight I've just had it. There seems little point in bothering to go on. There are only so many times you can be clobbered.
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Can you call or text "S" to cheer you up? If not, call your counselor. There are still those of us out here who love you and care about you. Don't forget we are here to help.
ReplyDeleteThanks "C" :)
ReplyDeleteWell it's lucky I didn't have a blog going last year. Reckon just about every day there for a while would have contained some element of the above post. I suppose as this has been going now for 2 months it's a good thing that so far there's only been one post like that so far. Definitely an improvement.
Yes will ring S tonight, he has a funny way of putting things into perspective. I am after all rather the drama queen at times.
BTW just noticed, the background colours of the posts last few days have been getting darker and darker. Quite interesting I thought, not intended. Certainly I think a representation to some extent anyway of my mood.