Negative

Yeah well whatever....

It's bound to happen off and on. Not in a panic, just recognising my feelings.

Things are on top of me tonight. It happens. Have been trying very hard last few days, but hey, you can't win forever. Am not in a bad way, just down. Have had enough of this shit for a while. Let alone mothers day in 4 days.

Decided to get a mothers day card for my daughter and I this year, as the day she died falls exactly on mothers day this year. We'll write in it to where-ever she is beyond the grave. Put it by her picture or something. It's incredibly painful yes, but as it's the day she died it's better than trying to forget.

There's so many other things in my head this week too. Wouldn't even know where to start here.

It's one of those nights, probably to be followed by one of those days.

Have just had enough for the moment. Yet I have to go on. Have to live life, have to function in society, have to wear the mask. I don't want to. All I want for a few days is to be alone at home. Doors and windows locked. Curtains pulled shut.

It's hurting. The past is hurting. It's all hurting. Just want to hide for a bit, be safe, not have to do anything.