Sunday 23 May 2010

Wondering where the depression started this time.

Been wondering why I got so down last few days. I know it's to be expected on occasions but it's still bugging me. Feelings of worthlessness and such, had to come from somewhere. Perhaps all the time off at work last few weeks contributed. The bad health both mentally and physically can easily get you down. Not the best condition to be having thoughts of self worth with.

I have been studying lately a bit about conservative views regarding gays. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea. There is indeed some very vile stuff on the net as to who I am. Wondering if reading such things may also have contributed to my feeling rather low. It's beyond me how some can just be so hateful.

It's not a good place to be in obviously. It's almost like mental paralysis. Can't move forward, can't feel happy, just feel worthless and sad. Little wonder the suicide rate amongst gays and lesbians (particularly youth) far outstrips that in the general population. And then the haters point to said statistic as proof that same sex couples are evil and wrong to be like they are.

Not all bad though the researching. I did discover other more compassionate people, even within Christianity itself. It seems there are Christians who see no conflict with being Christian and gay. Who'd have thought? I was going to make a whole separate page here about this issue, but just don't want to turn the blog into a political site. Suffice to say that gay Christians assert the few passages there are in the Bible that are used to condemn us have been misinterpreted, especially in modern times: 

With every thing else I've been through, I haven't considered really at all such attitudes by the haters of homosexuality. Just laughed it off, as it was literally a world away from me and quite irrelevant. When however you are confronted by online homophobia and out and out hatred, how the hell are you supposed to take that? It's worse than an insult as to who you are. It's a complete rejection of who you are, and any worth you have. Forget where I read it, have the link saved somewhere, but one of the comments by a nice web person was along the lines as to wondering how people could take a book like the Bible, all about a message of love, and turn it into a book of hate and condemnation. 

I count myself very lucky to be living where I am right now in Sydney, in a largely progressive and understanding society. It would be sheer hell being in a place where homophobia reigned supreme.

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