Breathing Space

It's like coming out of a long tunnel. A tunnel so narrow at times as to restrict breathing, and to progress through it required pushing along a few centimetres at a time.

That's what the last few weeks have felt like a bit. Looking back at some of what's written here, I can't even believe that this is me writing it at times. I mean, the police bashing for instance, what an incredibly strange and bizarre thing to happen to anyone, let alone me who was already struggling. And many of the other issues in the last few weeks..... I know I can be rather the drama queen, but FFS there has been a lot of stuff on my plate.

And it seems that the whole HIV thing has many many representations in my life. It has had a huge effect both mentally and physically. If not for writing it down like this I doubt very much I'd have noticed just how involved it has become with everything. It is part of even everyday life, as even without being sick the fatigue still reminds me it's there. On the weekends I often sleep up to 12 hours a night.

But for now at least the tunnel has opened up. Feel like I've come out into a much wider cavern I suppose. Room to move, breath. Room to enjoy life a bit instead of trying to survive it.