Xmas eve and bloody depressed as hell - typical

Woke up this morning feeling very bad. Didn't get up until after lunch. Told David I would have but I woke up depressed and didn't want to.

He pointed out the time of the year. This is the worst time for me, christmas and the new year. Even without thinking about it it makes me depressed. Much of the various disasters over the last 15 or so years have revolved around this time of year.

We're going to visit a friend in the city soon for dinner, probably go back tomorrow for the dreaded day. At least we won't be sitting around home on our own. I'm glad David isn't into the xmas thing at all. Otherwise it would make things much more difficult for me.

No tree, no presents, no decorations. Nothing. Just another day. I helps to bury the memories.