Wednesday, 10 August 2016

The Great Australian census internet fail - the night the census died

It was a night of frustration and hilarity, the worst of times but the best of times, he he. A night of fragmentation that bought Australians together, united. It was a night that the Lieberals will never forget, an historic night that will go down in the annals of Australian folklore. It was the night the census died!

All the Abbott/Turnbull gov's assertions saying that Australians would be happy with a slower internet, that we didn't want fast internet anyway, that all the internet was was a video playback device, all came back to haunt them last night. They tried to do something with it other than playing YouTube, and the result was an abysmal failure. 

It was more than just a failure though, it was a complete and utter catastrophe. Australians united in mockery and laughter! At Turnbull and Abbott's internet that they'd fucked up. "Copper! we need more copper!" came the cries of derision! It was a clusterfuck of national proportions. 

Abbott's idea of fast internet
Instead of the census going smoothly, the idea of getting all Australian households to log on to one internet site to do the census, relying most of us still on the 100 year old copper network to do it, was always never going to work. The fact that the gov thought it would made us laugh at them even harder. The site crashed and they said it would be back up soon. Then they said it wouldn't be back up for the rest of the night. It was over. The census site had done a Centrelink site and gave up the ghost for the night.

Twitter became mocking central. So many of us laughing that Twitter seemed almost at breaking point too; I myself had trouble retweeting at one point. "Copper! More copper into the boiler!" the cry went out!

Most deliciously, the guy in the Lieberal Turnbull gov responsible for it all is a raving lunatic gay hater bigot.

Fortunately for David and I we didn't have to suffer the frustration and were simply able to laugh. You see we never got the hallowed census letter with the details of how to log in to the census anyway, so we simply couldn't do it. Thank you Australia Post for that, finally I feel happy with you.

You can look at my Twitter feed to the right for all my retweets last night, but below are some of the best of them :)